Say a Little Prayer

I was going to link up with Jenna at The Life of the Wife today for Last Things Thursdays, but decided to tell you about something that has been weighing on my mind lately. My mom. 

My mom is my very best friend in the whole world. When I was 11, my dad had double aneurysms in his brain and has been in a nursing home ever since. I have always been one to try to see the good in this instead of the bad. My family is extremely close, my cousins are more like my brothers and sisters. My grandparents are more like parents, my grandpa taught me how to drive. And my mom, like I said is my best friend. She sacrificed and did without so I could have everything I wanted; the coolest clothes, prom dresses, gymnastics lessons, cheerleading uniforms, gas money, money to go out with my friends, etc. Anytime I wanted or needed her, she was there. After high school, things changed. She wasn't getting a monthly social security check for me and money was tight. The roles had reversed and I was the one loaning her $20 when she needed it or buying her lunch. Still to this day, she will talk about how she has not been a good mom to me and that she can't buy me this or afford to come see me and I have to constantly remind her of all that she has done and is still doing for me. Her unconditional love is all that I ask for (and believe me, she has had to prove her unconditional love quite often). 

Fast forward to February 2010... 

I get a call at 6:00 AM from my mom's boyfriend telling me that he's at the ER with her. He doesn't really know what's going on, but that she had an ear ache and then she started acting really lethargic. He told me not to worry and that I didn't need to come, but of course I sat there wondering what I should do. I finally got a call from a family friend saying that I needed to book the next flight out, that it wasn't looking good. I left at 12:00 AM the next morning and got to the hospital around 9:00 AM. I was told that my mom was in a coma caused by severe meningitis. Apparently, they rarely see cases of meningitis that are that life-threatening. On the 8th day of my mom being in a coma, the nurses told me that I needed to be prepared to make a decision about my mom's life (I'm her next of kin). I knew what my choice would have to be, to take her off support. My mom has always said that she would not want to live like my dad and that she wouldn't wish that life on anyone. Luckily, on the 9th day, she woke up! The first things she said to me was, "What are you doing here?" and I told her she was in the hospital. Then she said, "I made you miss your Tahoe trip!" And I knew that she was ok. She didn't even think of herself or the fact that she was in ICU, all she cared about was that I had to miss my trip to Lake Tahoe. I stayed for the next week while they moved her to the rehabilitation center and was told that she should be out within the next week. A couple days after I got home, my mom called and told me she had a terrible rash and they were taking her back to the hospital. At the hospital, they found out that she had Stevens Johnson syndrome (which affects the skin and mucous membranes) caused by dilantin. She was in the hospital for a total of 6 weeks. The Stevens Johnson syndrome caused a condition called nystagmus, which is uncontrollable eye movements. She is constantly dizzy and has to use a walker to get around. The meningitis also caused her whole right side to go numb, so she has trouble moving her right arm and leg.  She had to quit her job and get on disability, so some days she feels like she has no purpose. I keep telling her that obviously God feels like she has a purpose or he would have taken her then. She now feels like she's not the same person she was because of these things, but to me she is still the same strong, sarcastic, optimistic woman she's always been.

Fast forward again to April 2012...

My mom went to the gynecologist for her yearly check up. During her mammogram, the dr found an abnormality and ordered additional testing. She went back in for another mammogram and the doctor found a small dense mass and scheduled a biopsy. She went in for the biopsy last week and goes to the dr for results today. She is very scared and it kills me not to be there for her. I have been praying like crazy that the results will come back negative and that everything will be just fine. My mom is the strongest woman I know (she lived with me for 19 years) and I know that she can make it through anything.

If you wouldn't mind, please say a little prayer for my mom.