Thursday, May 17, 2012

Say a Little Prayer

I was going to link up with Jenna at The Life of the Wife today for Last Things Thursdays, but decided to tell you about something that has been weighing on my mind lately. My mom. 

My mom is my very best friend in the whole world. When I was 11, my dad had double aneurysms in his brain and has been in a nursing home ever since. I have always been one to try to see the good in this instead of the bad. My family is extremely close, my cousins are more like my brothers and sisters. My grandparents are more like parents, my grandpa taught me how to drive. And my mom, like I said is my best friend. She sacrificed and did without so I could have everything I wanted; the coolest clothes, prom dresses, gymnastics lessons, cheerleading uniforms, gas money, money to go out with my friends, etc. Anytime I wanted or needed her, she was there. After high school, things changed. She wasn't getting a monthly social security check for me and money was tight. The roles had reversed and I was the one loaning her $20 when she needed it or buying her lunch. Still to this day, she will talk about how she has not been a good mom to me and that she can't buy me this or afford to come see me and I have to constantly remind her of all that she has done and is still doing for me. Her unconditional love is all that I ask for (and believe me, she has had to prove her unconditional love quite often). 

Fast forward to February 2010... 

I get a call at 6:00 AM from my mom's boyfriend telling me that he's at the ER with her. He doesn't really know what's going on, but that she had an ear ache and then she started acting really lethargic. He told me not to worry and that I didn't need to come, but of course I sat there wondering what I should do. I finally got a call from a family friend saying that I needed to book the next flight out, that it wasn't looking good. I left at 12:00 AM the next morning and got to the hospital around 9:00 AM. I was told that my mom was in a coma caused by severe meningitis. Apparently, they rarely see cases of meningitis that are that life-threatening. On the 8th day of my mom being in a coma, the nurses told me that I needed to be prepared to make a decision about my mom's life (I'm her next of kin). I knew what my choice would have to be, to take her off support. My mom has always said that she would not want to live like my dad and that she wouldn't wish that life on anyone. Luckily, on the 9th day, she woke up! The first things she said to me was, "What are you doing here?" and I told her she was in the hospital. Then she said, "I made you miss your Tahoe trip!" And I knew that she was ok. She didn't even think of herself or the fact that she was in ICU, all she cared about was that I had to miss my trip to Lake Tahoe. I stayed for the next week while they moved her to the rehabilitation center and was told that she should be out within the next week. A couple days after I got home, my mom called and told me she had a terrible rash and they were taking her back to the hospital. At the hospital, they found out that she had Stevens Johnson syndrome (which affects the skin and mucous membranes) caused by dilantin. She was in the hospital for a total of 6 weeks. The Stevens Johnson syndrome caused a condition called nystagmus, which is uncontrollable eye movements. She is constantly dizzy and has to use a walker to get around. The meningitis also caused her whole right side to go numb, so she has trouble moving her right arm and leg.  She had to quit her job and get on disability, so some days she feels like she has no purpose. I keep telling her that obviously God feels like she has a purpose or he would have taken her then. She now feels like she's not the same person she was because of these things, but to me she is still the same strong, sarcastic, optimistic woman she's always been.

Fast forward again to April 2012...

My mom went to the gynecologist for her yearly check up. During her mammogram, the dr found an abnormality and ordered additional testing. She went back in for another mammogram and the doctor found a small dense mass and scheduled a biopsy. She went in for the biopsy last week and goes to the dr for results today. She is very scared and it kills me not to be there for her. I have been praying like crazy that the results will come back negative and that everything will be just fine. My mom is the strongest woman I know (she lived with me for 19 years) and I know that she can make it through anything.

If you wouldn't mind, please say a little prayer for my mom.

16 comments:

  1. Will be praying for her...and you! :)

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  2. Lindsay, hang in there, these things are tough. Praying for your mom, and that she receives a clean bill of health. Also praying for you, stay strong!

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  3. Oh my wow. That is so much to take in. First thank you for being so brave to write it. I can't believe she has had to endure so much in her life. I will keep her in my thoughts.

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    1. I am so sorry you have so much to deal with right now. I will absolutely be saying prayers for you and your mom. Sounds to me like you are both pretty strong women!

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  4. oh man. thinking of you, Lindsay!! praying so hard.

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  5. Love the rouching (sp?) in your wedding dress. Beautiful!

    So sorry to hear about your mom. I will pray for you. I will pray that whatever the news is, good or bad, that you will have the strength to keep going and to know how or what to do. It's so hard when you life deals you with some really hard times. I know though, that if God has given you something, it's because you are ready for it. Hope some of that helped. If not, just ignore it all :)

    new follower :)
    bonnie
    bonnielouisa.blogspot.com

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  6. Ugh, "chop me up".. (oh man) for real, I feel like my heart just burst with a thousand different feelings.

    1. I knew about your dad. (feeling #1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 etc.. ugh)
    2. I knew about the Menengitis (feeling 20-whatever number)
    3. And now I know of my need to pray for you.

    Listen butthead, that's right I just called you a butthead.. we talk every day.. multiple times and did you mention this? Nope. Guess what, when prayers need to be said, YOU ALERT the CHOP ME UP, okay? do it.

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  7. Wrapping my arms around you for a big hug.

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  8. Linds! I'm just seeing this. Let me know how what's up and how she's doing. You can call me anytime!

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  9. prayers coming your way my dear. your mom seems like ana amazing women.

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  10. oh lindsay....i will pray for her!!!

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  11. Oh my gosh! Lindsay, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I will definitely say a prayer for her (and for you). Is it crazy that my brother's girlfriend went in the hospital last night and they think it's meningitis.

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  12. Saying prayers now. Stay strong and please keep us posted! The Lord will lead all of you!!
    xo,
    Shanna

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  13. I AM a bad mom.....I had no idea you had written this until just now, July 2, and I am in total awe of you! That is the most precious thing i have ever read! I love you, mi hija, from the minute you were born, you were/are the greatest gift God could have ever given me, and the most important thing in my life! I could not ask for a better best friend/daughter than you! You have made me SO proud of the beautiful woman you have become, inside and out! Thank you for this...although I have never doubted your love for me, it was amazing to read this! Ilove you Lindsay Nicole
    ~~Momma

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  14. I AM a bad mom.....I had no idea you had written this until just now, July 2, and I am in total awe of you! That is the most precious thing i have ever read! I love you, mi hija, from the minute you were born, you were/are the greatest gift God could have ever given me, and the most important thing in my life! I could not ask for a better best friend/daughter than you! You have made me SO proud of the beautiful woman you have become, inside and out! Thank you for this...although I have never doubted your love for me, it was amazing to read this! Ilove you Lindsay Nicole
    ~~Momma

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  15. AWWWHHH being motherless and knowing you karol~THIS IS YOUR HEAVENLY REWARD for certain~And miss lindsey~you are the sanctuary of your mamas heart...i have no mother and this is what ive wanted my entire life[this kind of love...GOD BLESS YOU BOTH this is a comfort and reminds me that If i would of had a mother...thus is exactly what i would have wanted~UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is by far of our lord...

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